


Captain Ass-merica

by Heartithateyou



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Cute, Fluff, Getting Together, Great butts, M/M, Steve Rogers is secretly raunchy, coming together, phone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-07
Updated: 2016-05-07
Packaged: 2018-06-07 00:54:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6778168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heartithateyou/pseuds/Heartithateyou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve borrows Tony's phone and finds out Tony's nickname for him.<br/>And the contact photo doesn't help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Captain Ass-merica

“Hey Tony? Can I borrow your phone for a minute? I can’t remember where I put mine again so I was gonna call it-“ Steve starts to ramble before he takes his phone off the desk and shoves it at him, his eyes never leaving his computer screen.  
Normally he’d feel the need to make some comment on his poor technology skills or the fact that he so often loses a phone that costs more than some people’s cars (of course Steve didn’t know that) but he was right in the middle of running some models on a new booster prototype and didn’t want to lose his train of thought.  
“Thanks Tony, I know you hate being bothered when you’re in the middle of that stuff…” Steve trails off as he scrolls through his phone.  
It doesn’t even occur to Tony that Steve’s been completely silent until his computer starts running analysis and he turns toward him.  
“What’s up Capsicle? Forget our tech lesson again?” He says with a smirk until his takes in Steve’s stunned expression. His eyes then follow Steve’s down to the phone and his heart stops.  
His contact name.  
And photo.  
Fuck.  
“Fuuuuuuuuck.” He mutters, immediately running his hands through his hair as he tries to come up with an explanation. “Pepper’s the one who updates all that, she must have done it as a joke or something, I didn’t even remember that…”  
“Pepper put me in your phone as ‘Captain Ass-merica’?” Steve asks with wide eyes.  
“I mean she isn’t wrong… I mean that butt though…” He says, apparently trying to make the situation worse.  
“And how would she have even gotten this picture Tony?” He says as he turns the phone to face him, as though he didn’t know which picture it was. He had taken it a few weeks ago, when they had been at a pool party and Steve was wearing a pair of swim trunks that could only be described as ‘booty short’.  
“It must have been at the pool party, she’s sneaky, I’ll give her that-“ He starts off before Steve cuts him off.  
“Tony, she wasn’t at the pool party. She had that charity thing for the children’s hospital.” Steve says slowly.  
“She wasn’t? Are you sure? How do you remember her schedule? Is it part of the super solider thing or-“  
“Tony, why did you take a picture of my ass?” He interrupts.  
“I….”  
“Tony…”  
“I’m only human, okay? And you have a really, really great ass, which really isn’t my fault. And yeah, I had had a few drinks, which probably was my fault, but then you wore those shorts so this is really on you. And that great ass.” He rambles, wishing a hole would open up in the floor and swallow him whole.  
“You… you like my ass?” Steve stutters, his face blushing more than Tony’s.  
“I mean, how could I not? Its practically a national monument.” He mutters, really wishing this conversation would come to an ass.  
“But… I’m a guy.” Steve says.  
Oh my gosh, this conversation is getting worse and worse, why can’t a villain come and attack now when he actually needs it.  
“Yeah, well I haven’t exactly been straight since I was 13, and a great ass is a great ass. I’m sorry if this is awkward for you, I’ll change the photo and everything-“  
“I like your butt too.” Steve rushes out, his eyes glued to the floor and his face blushing even more if thats possible.  
“My… my butt?” He says, sounding like Steve did only a few moments ago. Yeah, he knew he had a little something something, but he never imagined Steve would have noticed.  
“Yeah… I like your butt too.”  
“Ooh… Oh cool, good, look, something else we have in common.” He blurts out, wanting to smack himself in the face for the stupidity of that comment. “So you’re not exactly straight either then.”  
“No, uhhh not really, not since… well forever I guess.” Steve murmurs quietly.  
Tony’s mind is whirling at all the information its receiving but he’s finally able to focus on one clear thought, “So we should totally go on a date. Like right now.”  
“Now? Okay, yeah, I can do that.” Steve says, a smile breaking out on his face that’s so bright he can’t help but smile back. “Let me just find me phone first.”  
He clicks on his name and the phone starts ringing on a nearby table. Before Steve can reach it, Tony snatches it to check out his own photo.  
“Seriously Steve? Really?” He says in shock, turning the phone to Steve. “Tony Stark-Official Pain in my Ass? That hurts. At least mine was romantic. I swear its a good thing you have that ass or I would so cancel this date right this second.”  
Steve walks up to him and grabs the phone before leaning in the whisper in his ear, “Play your cards right tonight, maybe you’ll get to be something else in my ass later.”   
That sneaky, raunchy mother-

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> Feel free to leave notes or requests!!


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